06 February 2014

Bipolar Awareness: Day 4

If you're still reading this, thanks!

I know that this is two post in one day, but that's because I hit 'Save' last night instead of 'Publish'. Woops, my bad, but shit happens and we must push on!

For years I've tried to find ways to cope with my bouts of depression. During middle school and high school I used reading, music and drawing as my outlets. I would sit outside with my Portable CD player, my case of pencils and drawing pad, and whatever book grabbed my attention. I'd sit for hours on end, escaping my reality for that of a wonderful place where magical beings existed or mystical powers could help you shape the world into a paradise.

It helped, I drew and read and I sang along to songs (most likely way out of key) and I found happiness in those moments, because I could never seem to feel happy in reality. It's something I still don't get, why didn't my smile always reach my eyes? I look at some pictures from when I was younger and I'm wearing a smile but my eyes look like there's nothing there. It's disturbing to look back on now.



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